It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
His nipple licking is glorious
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