I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
