i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
