So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
God, I missed his penis.
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