You're completely useless in the revolution.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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