Jerry, you need to find god
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
