Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
