This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
