girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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