You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
