So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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