This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
