Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
