I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize