apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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