ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
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