I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
