This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
