tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
