Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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