im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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