And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
