the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
