Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
