butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
