I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
