That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
