I'm drive I can fine osifer
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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