You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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