He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
