u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
