is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
