So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
