Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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