i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
