i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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