Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
