While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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