also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
