Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
false alarm. still invincible.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
