It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
