i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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