i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
