Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry ekelley20 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(310): View more from California

if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right

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(404): View more from Georgia

its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"

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(302): View more from Delaware

Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"

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(206): View more from Washington

I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.

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(574): View more from Indiana

I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.

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(541): View more from Oregon

By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.

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