she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
