you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
