weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
