is your mom at the bar?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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