Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
