So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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