you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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