dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize