They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
