Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
