Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
