cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
