Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
