smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize