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apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
