Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
porn star boner night. come get it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize