Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
